Image via WikipediaWriting about Roman's rare display of emotion the night that he cried about thinking he was sick, got me thinking about the email exchanges we had after we finished the class we had together -before we started dating. For some reason I saved them even though I threw away all of his handwritten letters in a fit of rage after I confronted the 'other woman.' I suppose I held onto these emails because they represent a different time in our relationship; a time when we were just friends. A relationship status that I was happy with and was initially reluctant to change. But I went with the flow nonetheless and now the rest is history.
Some things readers should know before reading these emails: Roman and I named our cars; Ronnie and Gene, respectively. I think its funny to name cars. Roman thought it was funny too, so he named his car after learning that I had named mine. At the time that these were exchanged, both Roman and I were dating other people. And, we liked music...there is lots of talk about music.
After he died, I lost my enthusiasm for music, but have recently made a conscious effort to reclaim it. Music was always a huge part of my life, so losing interest in it was like another death for me. This blog is part of my effort to reclaim it. That is why I include music with almost every post and why I chose to reference 'singing the blues' in the title. In reclaiming my love of music I am also reclaiming my voice - my identity.
I think these emails speak volumes now, though at the time, they were simple, insignificant passing moments.
Some things readers should know before reading these emails: Roman and I named our cars; Ronnie and Gene, respectively. I think its funny to name cars. Roman thought it was funny too, so he named his car after learning that I had named mine. At the time that these were exchanged, both Roman and I were dating other people. And, we liked music...there is lots of talk about music.
After he died, I lost my enthusiasm for music, but have recently made a conscious effort to reclaim it. Music was always a huge part of my life, so losing interest in it was like another death for me. This blog is part of my effort to reclaim it. That is why I include music with almost every post and why I chose to reference 'singing the blues' in the title. In reclaiming my love of music I am also reclaiming my voice - my identity.
I think these emails speak volumes now, though at the time, they were simple, insignificant passing moments.
******
I think my leg is going to give birth.
From: Roman
To: Sunny
Sent: Wed, June 13, 2001 11:17:37 AM
It has a giant knot in it and I have had an ultrasound, I will soon have little baby legs to keep in a card board box with the sign free legs to beckon little children. It really hurts, Friggin a.
My friends niece thought the sack was a big piece of poo, in her words. I would be impressed either way. Hey sick fucks are fine but I don't know if I would much enjoy being stuck to one, it might smell.
I haven't heard travis, or can't attach them to any specific song in my head, what kind of music? I have recently become addicted to badly drawn boy, it just fascinates me, like no album since Pinkerton has.
A job is a mental construct designed to produce money, it can not be admonished with love or hate, but people on the other hand can, and I hate people. I do love money, and they pay me so I can go to art classes and afford mid range male prostitutes. I really would rather be going to see Built to Spill, but sucks to be three. I did hear a great story today from my vietnam vet friend Bud, he came back from las vegas, and there where hundreds of convention goers in the treasure island casino, one ran a wheeled luggage cart into him while waiting for and elevator and Bud toe punted it about twenty feet, yes Bud would and can do this.
Friggin Hilarious
Let me just say that I should have ditched work. Can I hit stupid people?
My pants were slack like jeans, so denim blue.
Don't know if she is a butt lover or not, I am trying to find out, apparently the crush is based on my assholish behavior and my smart ass quips, so can't be all bad, but also the way I look so she might be freebasing. She is probably not the type I could talk about my boss to, but maybe she is just putting up a front to get better service?
Yeah I heard evolution sucked from a variety of people, I used to get david duchovny fans in my work all the time, they were old and plump and had pictures of things like his hair from all angles, freaky.
I only got a b, what the hell?
Good idea for the website, my brain is slowly fading here, so I am thinking up good ideas for it, I think you will have to have different ethic types for processing food as well and metabolic factors, and in all stages of constipation to diarrhea. Can't function brain failing, sleep approaches.
refined, huh? That's fancy talk for sissy. Shit should never be together. I would pinch him though, and not explain the reasons why, pretend you never even did it.
I elephantitis hearts. Ronnie says Honk.
R.
What up, S..
Tue, July 10, 2001 3:54:13 AM
From: Roman
To: Sunny
And then I turn and look..and where's Sunny...I don't know man..maybe they took her..
Haven't heard from you in awhile so just a message to see if you are still alive and all, which if you are not and is much as you will not be reading this, the wheel of irony just keeps on a spinning...
Jackass..will it ever not be funny?
piece on,
R.
Don't be alarmed...
From: Sunny
To: Roman
Sent: Tuesday, July 10, 2001 8:00 PM
Actually, I haven't been home much lately. Sorry for neglecting you. Did you register for school? I have the Crrappiest classes ever. Are you ready for this?
1)Personal health (yawn. Easy A?? Why do I insist on torturing myself with these 8:30 classes? I think you should take this one with me.)
2)Intracultural Socialization (Afro 311. I think I will fit right in. Never mind, you should take this one instead. On second thought, that might be a little scary.)
3)Human Heredity and Development (Sounds complicated.)
4)Infancy and Early childhood (If I have to learn one more goddamned theory...)
5)Child Dev. Practicum ( Like I have time for this?) But alas, this shall be my last. (Dang I should have been a poet)
Last weeks Jackass was a masterpiece. I especially loved when the pigeons ate out of Johnny's buttcrack.
Took G to the car wash today.
The new Built to Spill album came out today. How many times can I use the word "masterpiece" in one e-mail?
I hope all is well with you. Slaving over the presses. Did I tell you about the funny pictures me and my friend took at the grocery store? People don't realize just how joyous those places can be.
Party Hard.
S.
Ah..damn does this mean I have to return the casket..
Sent: Wed, July 11, 2001 10:53:21 AM
From: Roman
To: Sunny
it's purple with red stripes..no..I feel neglected..just not going to end..
Yup..I registered for school, first class sucks, second class, boring..no I am pretty much booked on art classes, and I think I will get one more to completely kill myself on too many units, just so I do not end up graduating at 27 with no husband, no family, no career. That is just against nature.
Intacultural Socialization? is that made up?
I need to hear about the pictures at the grocery store, it better be funny..
oh, I can tell you what I did while helping my mom. Being the nice son I am I agreed to get a tag taken off of her dress that the store did not remove, it was a security tag..so I get to the store and walk to the little misses section..this is a JC pennies. My mom is classy. and I begin to tell them all about how the dress chafes my leg hair, and is a might bit tight at the waste..they were horrified..and I was trying hard not to laugh. I was about ready to pretend to see a shirt I just had to have on the way out and ask them for a fitting room, but I had to be somewhere..fun is fun..
and Jackass..can it get any better? I enjoyed the pigeons as well..but the underwear racquetball contest..I cried..that was great.
okay it is sleepy time. nice to know you are alive, I guess. It does mean I lost the pool, as did the guy who bet on implosion, but its only money.
and I suppose I must go buy the Built to Spill album, no I must, Ronnie will get mad if I do not, gas mileage goes down when Ronnie is mad.
That might get me hurt,
R
******
