Accordingly, each time those helpless words rattle my eardrum and filter through my brain's auditory receptors, my snarky bitchass inner dialog kicks in and responds with something like, "WELL THEN TRY IT AGAIN, AND THIS TIME TRY NOT TO FUCK IT UP! BECAUSE THAT'S ALL YOU GET FROM ME. I'M NOT GIVING YOU MY MAGIC WAND! ITS MINE...GOT IT? AND I DON'T SHARE IT!"...because it seems that these people fail to recognize that there is no such sparkling, easy, obnoxious behavior, fixer.
News Flash: Magic wands? Yeah, turns out, there's no such thing. They don't exist in real life, even if you really really wish they did. (Although side note: Word on the street here, is there's this magical powder called "Angel Dust," but from what I understand, it's not the same thing at all.)
So the reality is that even people with big, expensive, fancy university degrees, do not possess any magical bad child behavior cures. If a kiddo has problems with behavior, the answer is ALWAYS "try and try again; then try harder if the first two tries don't work."
Besides, if the experts had all this magicy magicness at their willful fingertips, does it not stand to reason that they'd be richer than a solid gold turd shot directly from the asshole of J.D. Rockefeller himself, and as such, would probably no longer stick around this shitty joint just to listen to the groans of miserable burned out asswipes all day?
I mean, really people. Really? Really. Think about it.
Because I have, and now I'm pretty damn snarked.
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| Case In Point: If I had the coveted Magical Wand, do you really think I'd be sharing an office with this thing?? |
6 comments:
I swear that's like the auto-response for so many people after asking advice. It's always "I tried that" and I just want to say "then why the f did you ask me?".
...and what the heck is that thing in your office? It's kind of scary!
That is the biggest roach I've ever seen...No joke, it was two inches long! Apparently they are commonplace at that school, because when I asked the custodian to kindly remove it, he said "Oh, you mean you have a skateboard? We call those skateboards.." He was not phased, but I on the other hand, was!
OH I HATE BUGS BUT 2'LONG EK I WOULD HAVE PROBABLY FAINTED HATE BUGS. HOPE YOUR THANKSGIVING WAS NICE HUGS ZZZ
i think the alien lurking in the corner may have ATE your magic wand!!!
"I tried that" yeah..like it's clothing combination or something simple - I tried the skinny jeans with the disco clown shoes and it didnt work" :0 - WHAAh WHAAAh " LOL ......
dem some big,nasty looking room mates you got.
In Florida the roaches are gigantic. That might be the biggest one I've ever seen in the district, but I have seen a lot close to that large including two that ran out of my WISC-IV kit which I had not zipped the previous night. Never left it open again. Anyway the real estate agents refer to them as palmetto bugs in FLA to keep from scaring customers off.
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